over

I am not the one that is going to hold this all together. 

midnight magic

Can't you just feel the excitement in the air?

oh I just can't wait, 2 1/2 more hours.

discover something new and change someone's mind

I have decided that I no longer like months that begin with the letter J - January, June, July, don't like them anymore.  

Have you ever felt like everything in your life was going wrong? Like no matter what you said, what you did, what you tried to explain it was all wrong, none of it mattered to anyone? That's me. 

Okay no more depressing sentences, I am going to NYC!  I could never live there, but oh how I love to visit  - the beautiful chaos of times square, the city skyline, being able to imagine that as you stroll down the streets of the Upper East Side your life could be as scandalous, party filled and intriguing as Serena van der Woodsen's, then in the afternoon  walking through Soho that you are a stylist who lives around the corner currently shopping for your latest clients weekend party wardrobe, Broadway, Central Park, the plethora of boutiques filled with vintage clothing, or one of a kind designers, or the must have item that you can only look at, never afford. Last time I went it was January 1st, this time we will be going in august and I cannot wait to see Central Park in the summer. Oh New York, it is such a magical place,  always something to do, something new to see - I wonder what I will see this time.

My Loves

I always miss my friends from college, but today more than other days I miss them extremely bad.  I miss being Ashley Fantasy, or little phinny, or phizolie, or the best one, my little pocket rocket.  And in no specific order....

Heather I miss the random things you would say to cheer me up, like "your life is not that bad ash, look at John the Baptist, now his life was bad."  I miss our shopping trips and laying by the pool together, and our Friday night ritual.

Kelsi I miss your loud laugh :) even when it would wake me up in the morning, I guess that I should have realized that waking up to laughter is such a splendid thing.  I miss your gator enthusiasm and snuggling on the big bean bag with you and hell.

Helen I miss the music we found together, you were my strange music buddy.  When everyone else thought that I might just have found the strangest band ever, you always loved it as much as I did.  And I miss your mad dance skills!

Shea I miss you being my college mom.  You always knew just what to say, and you tried to keep us in line, thanks for trying.  I miss you little smile when you were doing something sneaky and your interpretive dancing.

Tash I miss your laugh too, you and Kelsi had the best laughs.  I miss how you always knew what to say when I was having a bad day, and I miss your hugs.

Stephie I miss the random things you would say, cause you were never afraid to say anything! I miss how you were always the one that thought things out and kept everything under control. I miss your ghetto dance moves and how you are fearless. 

Becky I miss my roomie! I miss laying out at the lake with you and having creepy men sit in their trucks and stare at us.  I miss us wasting countless hours in our room doing absolutely nothing. I miss watching the worst reality TV shows with you Rock of Love, New York, Flavor of Love, and Keeping up with the Kardashians - watching them is not the same without you.  

Bethany I miss you sleeping on my floor.  And how nice and caring you are, and oh the things you would say! I miss being your Ashley Fantasy.

Amie I miss telling you weekend stories.  I miss our late night coffee studying, or lack of studying.  I miss how you did not know how to cook a grilled cheese and how you threatened to cut down that palm tree.

Raychel I miss how you always would say what was on your mind, especially about Walt Disney.  I miss you encouraging me to act stupid to the point where I would start video taping myself on my computer or say things like how wonderful your boyfriend is when he waits for you outside our sliding glass door haha.

Bekki I miss your smile.  I miss how sweet you are and how you were alway up to do something fun, like drive in movies in freezing weather.

Jill I miss my roomie!  I miss you talking in your sleep. I miss you reading people's statuses to us on a daily basis.  I miss your amazing baking skills and your craftiness and putting stickies all over Amie's desk with you.

I know this isn't everyone from college but these are the girls I lived with, or that basically lived in my room, and they are the people I spent the most time with, the ones that knew when I was having a bad day, that knew how crazy I am, they are the best.  My best friends, my roomies, my loves, I miss you all so very much.

yeah i know i'm a loser.  it's been like 6 months - give or take a few?

get over it.

oh and i have nothing to say.

except that this is my new favorite picture.

where's your raw hide?

Today I became a Mommy.  Mommy of a little furry, one pound bundle of spunk named Marley.  Oh she is a doll.  It was a tough trip home with baby, she got car sick - yes for real car sick like poor little baby lost her food - and I cried, we had to stop and clean up, then when we started the car again, baby got sick again and I cried harder.  We made it though! And when we got home baby pooped on the floor, her first poop! Oh being a mother is going to be wonderful!

Christmas is over! It tis so sad, but I had a wonderful northern Christmas complete with ten degree weather, mountains, and a live tree.  It was beautiful.  Even better is that i was able to spend it with family; I got to see my uncle that I hadn't seen in forever and my cousin Jonathan, his wife Heather, and their little bit Sofia.  It was a cozy Christmas, just perfect.  

WARNING: The following is a personal rant, I'm going to complain, I'm going to go off.

So what is up with all these holiday engagements? Like seriously we graduate and/or go on winter brake and you think "Oh well I might as well ask now."  Seriously five, maybe more, of my friends are now engaged, I witnessed one engagement of strangers, and heard of like 3 for people I don't even know.  What the heck.  

All children, except one, grow up

It has been a day full of childhood cheer.  It's been one of those days where I only left the house once, and even then I just drove my car around town, realized, I don't really want to go anywhere, and drove right back home never getting out.  There were pancakes for breakfast and sad goodbyes to my roomie on her way to Connecticut.  Mom's been poking at a crackling fire all day and I have barely left my newly claimed spot in our newly arranged living room.  I scanned my little bookshelf looking for a new book to start or something to re-read, and of course found the perfect book, Peter Pan.  It is a pure childhood classic.  It was always my favorite as a little girl, I loved the movie, I loved the picture book, and I loved playing dress up as Tink and Peter and Wendi, "Wake up," she cried, "Peter Pan has come and he is to teach us to fly." It is a magical book and I get so entangled in it's words that I want to read it aloud.  I love those kind of books.  I love even more that it is Christmas time and Elf has been on every time I turn on the television.  "You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa!" Oh Will Ferrell.  But it's not just that, Christmas movies get me, kinda like childhood fairy tales do.   I think it's the whole Christmas will be saved if everyone will just believe or the clap your hands to save Tink.   Whatever it is Christmas movies make me cry - like at the end of Elf when Santa's sleigh falls in Central Park and everyone just needs to believe, and then they start singing, and then really believing, that is when the tears form in my eyes and I just smile big and hold them in because it is a little crazy to cry at Christmas movies.  And now I am sorting through old ornaments and lights because I'm decorating Ty's house whether he likes it or not, back to cutting out paper snowflakes!!!!!